these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
