i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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