didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
