The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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