Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
