Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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