Someone shit on the floor
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Randomize
