you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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