:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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