just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
