he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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