This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
