Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
