so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
