He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
