1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
