He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
