There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize