the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
