He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
