I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm always down for nudity.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
