my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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