yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
