Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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