Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
