So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
