It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
