I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He felt like a one man threesome
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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