i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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