so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
