I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize