Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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