Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
