Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
