his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
