I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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