I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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