You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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