I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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