he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
