Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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