Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize