I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
