ya dads aren't the best wingmen
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
