Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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