if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
