you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
