If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
