rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
