whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
