my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
