dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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