Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
