I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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