Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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