Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
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