Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
