girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
