I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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