went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
