This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i permit you to call me
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
