Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
