he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
