I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
